Sunday, June 29, 2008


Going up to Mayo clinic I knew was a great decision. Before I went up there I had so much hope we would get to the bottom of my health issues. Maybe I had unrealistic expectations even. What I got was kind of unexpected, but exactly what I needed. They gave me a diagnosis I had heard many times before. But hearing it this time I knew I was ready to stop searching for the needle in a haystack. I didn't get the answer I wanted, but the answer I needed. Since then I've been trying to just live life. I battle with the idea of still searching for a another answer every day, but everyday I put that thought to the side and just go forward. Last night we went out with a group of friends for Spanish tapas. We had a great time and after we left I felt normal for the first time in a long time. I didn't feel like my friends didn't know how to act around me, I was treated like a normal human being. That was wonderful! Being comfortable in your own skin makes those around you feel more comfortable too. To top all this off, today I thought to myself, I'm finally at a place of accepting I may never walk again. I'm totally fine with that. A week and a half ago I gave up the search and decided to live, today I am at peace with where I am. I guess I'm finally comfortable in my new skin.

Friday, June 27, 2008

That was quick!

We really started our search for place to have our wedding ceremony/reception on Wednesday and have made our decision already today. After looking at 3 places we decided to go back to our first choice. White Eagle in Naperville easily won out. The author places were nice ..but White Eagle was the only place for us. When this whole process started I was very hesitant. I was fine getting married at the courthouse and having a barbecue reception. Emily wanted none of that. But now after making our decision and putting a hold on the place my nerves and uneasiness are pretty much gone and now I am excited to get the planning going. We have some time as we will not get married until October 10, 2009. Usually teachers get married during the summer, but neither of us are fans of the heat. So Emily picked the date on a weekend where she has one of those fabulous Monday holidays off. As I am writing I guess she won't go with Mrs. Beal until the next school year. Oh well, her loss on a wonderful last name.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wedding planning and a thought

Yesterday Emily and I visited a couple of locations we are interested in for hosting our wedding ceremony and reception. We were impressed with the first place, White Eagle Golf Club in Naperville. They will be able to house our ceremony and reception, keeping the day fairly seamless. We really liked the look of the facility and the options they have. After our time there we ventured over to Di Nolfos in Homer Glen. Once again a very nice facility that is able to host our ceremony and reception. They were very nice and have their act together, but I just wasn't feeling it like I did at White Eagle. We are still going to look at a couple more facilities and then make our decision. I am officially swimming in numbers and details. This is an exciting and nauseating experience! When we got back last night from our last facility, Merle, a parking security guard at our building stopped by to talk to us as always. It was the first time I spoke with him since Minnesota. He had already heard the details from Emily, but wanted to see how I was doing. During our conversation he said exactly what I had been feeling." It has to be a relief to finally have a confirmed diagnosis." That was good of him to say, being as I was hell bent against it being MS and didn't mind sharing my opinion with people I was so afraid of being judged and to not have my exact feeling confirmed.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Like I said...

Right time, right place. We met with a neurologist up here on Wednesday. We spent around two hours in his office. He was very thorough in his evaluation, both of me physically and of my thick binder of health history and test results. His determination was that I'm dealing with MS. There are some things that can't be explained like how my body loves being in hot water when others with MS can't handle hot water. When he was telling me it has to be MS, a lightbulb went on for me. I felt to be at a place of acceptance. Hearing this diagnosis from the best of the best made the words really resonate with me. I wasn't angry or distraught. At that moment, I felt like I was given the keys to live again, to not to let my disability keep me down, but to really enjoy all life has to offer. So seeing as we were down early up here, Emily and I decided to take a few days for a vacation. We will head home on Sunday and start to face each day with vigor. Thanks for all of the prayers and support during our trip up to Mayo.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

We're here

What a beautiful day to travel! Awefter 7 hours in our spacious rental car we made it into our hotel room for a few minutes of unwind time, for me at least, Emily unpacked and is out getting dinner. What a great woman! She my Superwoman. Anyway, we'll rest tonight and go to my first appointment tomorrow at 11:45. My nerves are long gone, I'm content and confident to be here. When you're at the right place at the right time it just feels right.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Back from IN on to MN

What a busy weekend! We arrived at our hotel in Indianapolis Thursday night, that gave us a full day to rest up before the weekends activities. Friday night was the rehearsal for the widening. We ran through things numerous times. Two of the guys had to carry me up and down the stairs. To make sure they were in unity while carrying me they practiced with me at least 10 times. Not sure if it was the stress of fear of being dropped but that activity wore me out. After resting my weary body all night I woke up refreshed for the wedding activities. With my buddy Josh married and the reception behind us it's back to the hotel for a night of rest before heading back to Chicago.

As I'm typing right now my body is feeling the affects of the trip. I am pretty wore out. Oh well, I have to keep pushing. Tomorrow Emily and I are back on the road heading to Minnesota. Mayo Clinic awaits. I've received numerous packets of information from them and am already impressed. They are very detailed. The first packet of information let me know my first appointment will be 11:45 am Wednesday. Also, they let you know most evaluations take three to seven business days, some odd cases will take longer. Knowing I'm definitely odd and an odd case I am ready for anything. Once we get settled in up there I will update more. I ask for your prayers for our travel and pray for every one working on my case.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

That little boy-made me cry: UPDATE

This is an update from my friend Carmen's site:

I received this message last night from my friend regarding Dakota: HE SURVIVED SURGERY! They were only able to get 80% of the tumor. He is in recovery. This is all we know at this point. I just wanted to pass along what details I had. Thanks for much for all your prayers in this ongoing battle for this little guy's life. I'll pass on details as I get them.

Friday, June 06, 2008


The next week or so is going to be pretty busy. This weekend I have my adopted neice's birthday party, I can't believe she's going to be four. She also has a dance recital on Sunday. After a few days of rest Emily and I will head down to Indianapolis for my buddy's wedding, which I'm standing up in. We'll be down there for four days. Sunday the 15th we'll head back to town for a day to rest and to pack. Tuesday the 17th we're back on the road headed to Minnesota. I've got an appointment for Wednesday the 18th at Mayo Clinic. I'm not sure what to expect, so I'm nervous to go there. I always knew that this is probably where I'd end up. Nerves aside, I'm really excited. Please pray for safe travel and for the doctors that will be working with me. On top of all this, my sister is having her first child. I am so excited, but sad that it looks like I'll be on the road when she is born. Oh well, she'll get smothered with love the rest of her life by her uncle Randy. On that note I'm out for now.