Friday, March 14, 2008

Doctor's faith

Yesterday was my appointment with Dr. A, my ID doctor. It had been nearly 4 months since my last appointment with him. As with all appoitments any more I go win with no expectations. This time I brought hope in my pocket though. Hope that we could look into treating me for something. As I've shared recently things have gone downhill for me somewhat. So, in sharing what has been happening with Dr. A he did tell me he definitely could tell I've regressed in some areas. He decided to try me on an oral form of the IV medication I was on for most of 2006. He said he's not giving up on me. This is the doctor that tells me most every time I see him he can't wait to have me walk into his office. I say if a doctor who has only known me for a couple of years has the faith I'll walk again, why should I ever doubt that. Thank you God for putting Dr. A on my path during this part of the journey.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Good word

This morning I woke up feeling better physically than I have in awwhile. Even mentally I felt better prepared for th e day. The question I posed yesterday finally wasn't on my mind. I woke up knowing I would walk again. What a great feeling to wake up confident as opposed to curious. At least a couple of times a week my sister sends me a scripture of the day. I feel like today's was very fitting after yesterday's blog. Here it is.

Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. Psalm 27:14
Sometimes our fears creep in because it seems like God is taking too long to answer us. Is he out there? Hold on--he will answer you, so you must trust him while you wait.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Will I walk again?

This is a question I've been asked many times. But I think what gets me most is when I ask myself that very question. It's been on my mind a lot lately. My standard answer to others is "for sure, it's just a long process, but I will walk agin". I wrestle with this thought often, during the good and bad times. It's not like I'm slipping today and having a bad day. It's just that I can't shake this question. I'm never going to give up, slow down, or acept this as my fate. I know deep down in my gut there's an answer to this. I'm not sure when, where, or how it will come, but it's out there. I know I've come this far with good ol' dtermination and an all loving God who let's us try things on our own if we so choose. Maybe I haven't allowed Him into this process enough, or at all sometimes but I know that's the only way to get my answer. Please join me in prayer for the answer.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Don't sweat

Learning to not swaet the small stuff is a tough process. I've always been a worrier, someone that stressed over the smallest of things. Over the last few months I've gotten better just relaxing and not stressing so much. But in the past few weeks I've allowed myself to succumb to my old nature and stress over meaningless things. Emily quoted me today on our way to a wonderful birthday dinner for my sister's father-in-law. She remembered me telling her when we first started dating and she would share her frustrations from work. I told her that she is allowing herself to be stressed and really at the end of the day what does it metter. She could choose how she responded to those situations. She should choose to relax and not sweat. I need to take my own advice. Sometimes I come up with a good one. I'm choosing to relax and not sweat.