Friday, April 27, 2007


I just got a phone call from my sister. She had some exciting news for me. She had just finished an interview with a guy that would be starting for us next week. Who is the guy? None other than Barry's father-in-law. When I was told this I was so excited. Not sure who Barry is, read the post titled "Barry". I have so badly wanted to get back in touch with him, now there's no reason I can't. How exciting how this worked out!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The little things

This week I've been able to enjoy a couple of little things, I had not in a long time. I was fitted for contacts and have been able to wear sunglasses for the first time in 2 years, albeit a simple thing, it really helped me to feel a bit normal again. On top of that when I was downtown today my sister and I went out to eat down the street from the hospital. I used to love going out and enjoying the city and today I was able to do just that. These 2 things caused me to remember to always enjoy the little things in life. Take nothing for granted and be thankful for every moment.

Hard case to crack

Just got back from my neurologist appointment downtown. She did the usual tests (strength, visual, coordination) and went over my previous test results. Still things seem to be inconclusive. She told of Dr. Hope calling her and trying to find out what kind of health answers she came up with. And to date there is no definitive answer. The plan from here is another brain MRI and some more blood work. There might even be the need for a spinal tap. I'll tell you this, that's one procedure I'm not really looking forward to, oh well. She's also going to be in touch with a Lyme specialist in Connecticut, where Lyme disease originated. So, this is still a tough case to crack. As long as I keep getting better I can continue to deal with this incomplete diagnosis. My neurologist thinks if nothing shows its face in one of these tests we will be left with calling it MS. Let's see what happens.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

1 Year

1year ago today I came home from my last stop on my whirlwind tour of nursing homes and hospitals. It's crazy to think it's already been a year. At the same time I think, wow, that's all it's been, a year? I'll tell you this much it's good to be home. It's also a year ago Emily moved in here. I could not have made it living here by myself. Thanks for being my legs and arms when I've needed it (which has been alot). Most importantly just for putting up with me, I know it's been difficult. Thanks for all you do and most importantly for just being you, I love you! I'm looking forward to this next year, let's see what's in store.

Friday, April 13, 2007

The grass is greener

Yesterday was an appointment with Dr.Hope He's the one that treated me for lyme disease last year. We talked more about my situation and as I have been for years with this health situation, he was frustrated, but still determined to get me out of the wheelchair. He took it on himself to call my neurologist and see what's going on and try and get somewhere. In the meantime I asked about getting a B12 shot, which helps with energy levels among many other things. If I wanted one they would give me one right then. Willing to give it a 'shot' I areed. So before I left his office they plunged the needle into my arm, which hurt not long later,. Hopefuul I'd see some results later we went on our way. Before I even settled in at home Dr. Hope was ringing my phone. He left a message with me that he spoke with my neurologist and she'd be calling me soon to set-up an appointment. She thinks it's MS and we can talk about some treatment options. As I've said before I wasn't convinced it was MS. I always knew something else was at work. Which I was correct in that assesment, Lyme disease was there and has long been eradicated. Now the idea of taking drugs for MS doesn't fully appeal to me long term, but if we can do something to give me a jump start and get out of the chair, then I'll do it. So we'll see what the neurologist has to say. Now back to the B!2, today I woke up with energy which doesn't usually happen, so that was good. Then as we were driving in today I had sensatiopns I hadn't felt in years. My left hand and right leg could feel the crisp air which was a great sensation. Then I get into the office and usually my eyes get very blurry, but my vision was and still is crisp. I explained my feeling to my sister like this, a haze was lifted up and the grass looks greener, sky looks bluer, my energy is very high. Wow what a feling!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Thank God I don't weigh alot more!

I just got back from therapy, man did they work me. I worked with the owner of the facility, he's good and not afraid to try new things. I did all the usual chiropractic work, which is great for my back and when done I feel great. Now on to the work-out. We started the same way, warming up on the pedaller. He then decided to try our luck at the leg press. It looks like a standard leg press machine, which way back in the day I used to pile on the 45# plates, not anymore. Anyway it's set up to where the weight is your body. You can adjust it and press minimal amount of your body weight. Today we tried level 1, which is 12% of your weight, I did 10 reps rather easily. It was just a test run, so Wednesday we'll move up to level 2, which is 18% and I'll do two sets of ten and we'll see how that goes. So needless to say I feel really good about it all.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Ride that thang!

I just finished my third week of therapy and we've seen some progress. My legs and core are getting stronger. Each time I've gone I've noticed at least a slight improvement, any is better than none! One exercise I do at therapy is pedal a bike. I always have my therapist help by holding my feet on the pedals and he gives a little assistance to help me get full revolutions. Yesterday I bought a pedaler for me to do at home. This morning before comig in to the office I wanted to try it and see what I could do myself. So I wheeled up to it and got my feet settled on the pedals and away I went. I predaled 5 revolutions and stopped to not wear my legs out, since I plan on doing some walking today at work. Let's see what kind of progress I've really made.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

It's not enough

I'm realizing this more everyday. I've been working hard, first learning to live with a disability and now to overcome and defeat my challenge. Last year when things looked really bleak I kept confessing my faith in God and my belief in a miracle healing for my life. It was easy back then to confess those things. Now that I've learned to live with this I feel like I've gone as far as confessing and believing alone can get me. That doesn't mean to stop those, but I know there's more involved now. The battle I've been fighting more than ever, is the one about trust. I keep hearing a litttle whisper, saying "trust Me." I know the next step in my recovery, physical and spiritual is to trust God. Easier said then done, to trust there has to be an action. Ever do the 'trust fall'? Where you turn your back on a group of people and have to fall into their arms. That was always a scary exercise, but it always worked out. You would think it easier to trust the God that created you, but that always seems toughest. So I'm hoping to overcome my biggest challenge, 'Trust God!' I really need to do it before that whisper gets any louder. I guess it's like any relationship, it's great to hear 'I love you', but the next step is to show you love that person. God I love you..........