Monday, October 30, 2006

Empty

Ever feel like you had nothing more inside of you? Like you're just beat up and can't keep going? That's how I feel right now. In the years of battling it's a rare day for me to feel this way. I've got that little devil on my shoulder telling me to just give up, thankfully I have that little ange too. It's not saying much, it's enough to know it's there though. And thank God for good worship music. As I've been pondering on my situation all day I do hear a small still voice saying everything's ok. Who've I been trusting this whole time: just good ol' fashion hard work or the Healer. God forgive me for not totally trustingYou. I'll keep working hard and learn to trust you more everyday.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Fear this

How do you handle fear? Do you use it as motivation or do you let it cripple your life? We have the choice on how to handle it. Yesterday I had the choice to succumb to or overcome a fear. I wanted to stand and walk without braces, but had not done so in over a year. I was afraid to cripple to the ground when trying to stand and if I did make it to a standing position what if I fell trying to walk. Well, I decided to go for it, the reward would blow the risk out of the water. And boy was I right. This particular situation brought me to think about all the times I faced a fear and overcame it, not once did I look back with regret, but with fulfillment and excitement. And all the times I succumbed, I wish I had them to do all over again. Lord, help me to always live life with excitement and face my fears with fervor.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Clock

As I stated in yesterday's blog, I know God will perform a miracle in my life. But I've been feeling anxious lately. I'm tired of fighting, when I know what's right around the corner. That's not to say I'm giving up, not in the least. Remember being a kid on christmas eve and the anticipation of the gifts for you under the tree. You want to explode waiting for that moment to come out of your room and get those gifts. That's the feeling I have right now. Earlier today I read a post on myspace and the author said to relax and let God work on His clock. How timely! So I'm gonna relax and let God do His thing on His time. O Lord, help me be patient..........quickly!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Impossible

Last night the Bears were on Monday Night Football. They were playing the lowly Cardinals, and not an analyst around would have predicted what happened. Shockingly the Cards jumped out to a huge lead, one in which seemed insurmountable. Being as I am usually asleep early I was thinking of turning the game off as it seemed impossible for the Bears to come back. But something inside of me knew I was about to see the impossible happen. Albeit apples to oranges that sense of seeing the impossible happen, brought my mind to my situation. I've claimed the miraculous in my life for a long time now, but last night seeing the Bears win 24-23 helped me realize if they could win a simple game then God will do this in my life. I saw a recent quote that stated, "faith is not believing that He can....faith is knowing that He will". So who's ready to see a physical miracle?

Friday, October 13, 2006

Lucky on an unlucky day

Today is suppsedly an unlucky day. I find myself to be very lucky though. Some may wonder how I can feel lucky after the hand I've been dealt. Well, although I've gone through so much I've learned and grown so much that I might not have if I didn't go through all of this. I'm lucky to have great friends, to have cheated death, to have realized what makes me happy, to have found love. Today I feel like the luckiest man on the face of the earth. To all my friends and family, I want to say thanks for helping me feel this way!!! May you all feel the same in your lives. God bless!